Being psychic involves the rarest of all human gifts: listening…
Yes you heard right – no telepathy; just listening!
Any budding Jean Grey or Professor X need read no further. But for the rest of us poor schmucks, here is how to wow at parties by being so insightful people will think you are psychic. Ok I know it’s cheating, but I won’t tell if you don’t.
Remember, parties are such great places because when people are pie-eyed, they believe anything!
Fitting into a group
Most people think we need to shine in a group of strangers. We don’t. Extreme personalities can alienate as much as appeal. It is best to go in softly: nod; smile; agree. Reflect the mood by laughing quietly or looking serious as appropriate.
Reflect the group body language: echo gestures; adopt the same posture. Imitation really is the most sincere form of flattery. But be subtle. It’s a fine line to mockery.
Never forget names. While smiling and nodding, repeat names in your head. This is to do with short and long term memory – more of that later. If you do forget someone, ask someone else whose name you do remember.
As others relax around you, you can contribute. The best way is reflective listening – echoing what others say. Match their tone of voice; use the same words. Turn statements into questions: Did you really say that to him?
Encourage others to speak with approving comments: Wow! Really! Mmmm; Yeah; I see; go on. It shows you are listening.
If conversation lapses ask: ‘So what happened then?’ or ‘You know when you were saying…’
This is not about you… it is about them!
Wowing your audience
There is a psychological study called The Magic Number 7 (plus or minus 2). It says people only hold the last 5 to 9 recent things in their head. When new information comes along they ditch the old stuff. This is to do with the transference from short term memory (stuff you are doing right now – not getting killed crossing the road) and long term memory (stuff you need to remember – your address).
When people talk about themselves they often forget how much they have said. When you later repeat it, they are amazed because they forgot they told you.
Remember: knowledge might be power, but delivery is everything. Say the wrong thing and you go from being ‘simpatico’ to a stalker!
Personalities… we all have one… & they are all the same!
There was another psychological study that asked 100 people to complete a personality test. The reward was an assessment based on the test results.
Everyone who got the assessment was amazed by how much it revealed about them. The only trouble was they all got the same answers. So if you want to wow someone with an insight into their personality or deepest insecurities, try dropping one of the following test result bombshells.
• You have a need for other people to like and admire you.
• You tend to be critical of yourself.
• You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage.
• While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them.
• Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside.
• At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.
• You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.
• You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof.
• You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others.
• At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved.
• Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic.
• Security is one of your major goals in life.
This next trick will really make you come across as an amazing psychic. (It might require a bit of practice.)
In Victorian times there was a magician who earned his living at people’s dinner parties. His trick was simple. While he was absent, the guests would hide a random object in the room – he never knew what it was. When he was in the room, the guests were forbidden to talk or make any noise to give the game away.
He would then find the object – while blindfolded.
He used unconscious involuntary cues. Clues the guests did not even know they were giving by shuffling, nervous laughs, gasps, even changes in breathing.
Each and every one of us gives so much away, all the time, without even knowing it; which brings me to a final trick.
There is evidence when we make things up our eyes involuntary move in a different direction than when we are truthful. It won’t stand up in a court, but it is fun to try with a group of friends.
Eyes look right and up when remembering something seen in the past. And right and down if we are trying to recollect something or put it into context.
Eyes go up and left when trying to construct an imaginary scenario. And down and left when working out the right tone of voice to make the story sound convincing.
These party tricks are all just a bit of fun – so have some fun. Go on… be amazing!